The Human Carnival

Lotaburger is actually not that busy this morning. There’s only two others here besides me and the first guy I saw I have nick-named Pinky Thumbs. He got this name because when I was on the way to my seat I happened to look down at his hands and noticed that they were, somewhat, odd looking. It looked like he had been in some freak accident and someone had chopped off his thumbs and replaced them with pinkies. Now how he holds onto shit is beyond me. He takes his burrito out of his bag and begins unfolding it. After he takes his first bite he looks down at it with a large amount of disgust and spits the bite into the bag. The first thought in my head was that maybe he found one of his thumbs. Unfortunately/fortunately it was actually a piece of half raw bacon. After pulling it out of the burrito he continues to enjoy his breakfast gag free. As he finishes his meal he props his jacket against his head and the wall and begins to take a nap.

The other person was an older woman, maybe early fifties, with bright purple hair. I figured Barney was an appropriate pseudonym. I can’t exactly make out what she is saying but as I look over to see who she is talking to I am surprised to see that nobody is there. I decided to move a couple of seats closer to get more “comfortable” and I notice that she is actually recording herself. As she continues her recording I hear her start cursing uncontrollably and without any direction. It’s almost as if she is very ill. Come to find out she was just venting about Obama......to herself. After continuing her sailor’s rant for ten more minutes she quiets down.

Twenty more minutes has past and it appears that Pinky Thumbs breakfast burrito coma has ended. He starts packing up his belongings in a rapid fashion. It appears that he is late for his class. He rushes out the door and goes about his business. It’s been around five minutes since he left and now he has returned in a less distraught fashion. He sits back in his previous seat and then looks at me and says, “F@#& it I’m sleeping!” I nod and he continues his nap.

I turn my attention back towards Barney and she has just begun recording another rant. That’s right, strap in!

She begins using a strange assortment of very large words, of which I have never heard, in an angry tone and now it is directed towards Hillary Clinton. She begins explaining why she thinks Clinton will be the worst president this country has ever seen and I have to say her points are impeccably accurate. Five more minutes pass by and she has now concluded her thoughts.

Unfortunately, it is time for me to leave this human carnival and go to class. Stay tuned for more potential adventures with Pinky Thumbs and Barney!