Family Dynamics

We've arrived late and out of breath. Traffic was terrible, and almost all of the parking spaces at the restaurant are filled. It's a popular, higher-priced Italian place with lighting so low it's almost difficult to read the menu. The waiters are arrayed in black vests and white tuxedo shirts, hair carefully pulled back.

The man attending our table knows the extensive wine menu by heart and quotes it to the one member of our group who is over 21 right away, much to my friend's chagrin. He quickly explains that he doesn't drink and the waiter apologizes, laughing and waving his hands.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed," he says.

At that moment, all eyes are drawn to the door as a group of people of every age begins pouring through the entrance. They are all dressed in what would be termed "business casual"--nice skirts and dresses on the women, and button-down shirts and slacks for the men. A quick count indicates there are fourteen of them.

The wait staff glance over their shoulders and then at each other. One waitress openly grimaces, then walks up to the group and greets them,

"Table for the B family," one of the taller men says, his arm tucked around a young woman in a red dress who appears to be his daughter. His arm around her tightens, and she smiles. They seem to be very close. An older woman who looks very similar to the young woman in red stands nearby. She appears to be her mother, as she gives the tall man a quick peck on the cheek after he pulls out her chair.

It's easy to guess everyone's relationship to each other by the places that they sit--the Mother sits beside the tall man ("Father,") who sits across from their daughter. (I hear her name dropped after a few moments by a slender aunt: "Angel." It seems appropriate. She has large blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a sweet smile on her face throughout nearly the entire night.) Beside the Mother is the Grandmother, who calls the Father "son" though it is clear that she is only related by blood to the Mother. She has her same large, blue eyes and hair that, though fading, is still blonde.

The women seem to be primarily clustered on one side of the long table. Beside the Grandmother is Aunt 1, a slim woman with dark  blonde hair pulled back very tightly, holding a baby in her arms. Next to her is Aunt 2, whose hair has been dyed a striking purple. Aunt 2 holds hands under the table with a short woman wearing a red blazer who appears to be her girlfriend.

On the other side of the table are Uncles 1, 2, and 3. Uncle 1 looks to be the oldest, with a large bald patch he has unsuccessfully tried to cover with a comb-over. Uncles 2 and 3 are twins who appear to be in about their mid-thirties, blonde like their sister, the Mother. Uncle 2 has come with his wife, a dark-haired, soft-spoken woman, and their two daughters, who appear to be around ten and six, respectively.

None of the Father's extended family appears to be at the table at all.

They swap stories and talk about the place they've just come from--they all went to go see a play together at a local theater. Angel played a major role and they've come together to celebrate. Angel beams under all of the questions they ask her.

They seem to have been very excited about the play, they keep returning to talking about it, quoting funny scenes and laughing. I learn after about half an hour that Aunt 2 and her girlfriend were both involved in theater when they were in high school, and miss it very much. Seeing Angel act onstage has brought up a lot of good memories for them both. They recount two or three stories before Aunt 1 pats Aunt 2's hand and makes a joke that Aunt 2 "was never very good anyway."

Aunt 2 protests at this and laughs, seeming to understand that her sister doesn't mean it. She reaches for the baby and holds him, patting him on the back, not seeming to be fazed when he spits up a little onto her blazer. Her girlfriend grabs a napkin and dabs up the mess.

Uncle 3 looks down at his plate whenever Aunt 2 and her girlfriend interact affectionately in this way. He seems to be uncomfortable with their presence. He talks only to the Father, the Mother, Angel, and occasionally Uncle 2, despite sitting right across (apparently to his chagrin) from Aunt 2.

Initially, Aunt 2 does not appear to notice his behavior. After giving the baby back to Aunt 1, however, she makes a teasing comment to Uncle 3 to ask him when he is going to settle down and have children. Uncle 3 turns his head to look at her for the first time since they sat down, then looks away.

Were I not sitting at the table I am at, watching very closely, I would not have noticed his very brief, blank look, nor Aunt 2's girlfriend's reaction. But I am at this angle, and I can clearly see the girlfriend's hand reach for Aunt 2's, and give a quick squeeze that seems meant to be reassuring. Aunt 2 looks at her and smiles.

The Mother, who has been watching the exchange, visibly relaxes, then turns to her mother, the Grandmother, and asks her to repeat what she has just said. The Mother is clearly very invested in seeing that an openly hostile exchange does not develop between Uncle 3 and Aunt 2.